Should I give my children a key to the house?

I think the timing is perfect for this topic, school begins in less than 30 days and parents are faced with the a difficult decision. Do I let my children have a key to the home and come/go on their own? The advice by child therapist, Kate Cohen-Posey will hopefully give you some tips on when the timing is right for you and your children.

My 9-year-old wants a key to the house. At what age do you feel a child should be given a key?

Providing a child of a responsible age with his own key to their residence is, depending on the family's circumstances, either a privilege or a necessity. Remember, for many families the reality of a child coming home alone at the end of a school day to an empty house and letting themselves in the door is a regular and unavoidable occurrence. These "latch key children" are very common today because of the great number of double income families and single parent households. These children are being given a great deal of responsibility at a very young age, and there are strict rules that these children must follow in order to preserve their own safety.

Given the nature of the question posed here, I can only assume that this is a situation in which a child doesn't need to have a key, but has friends that do and therefore would like to be able to have one as well. Before a parent makes this decision it would be prudent to answer a few questions:

* Why does my child want to have a key?
* Do I feel that these reasons are valid?
* What are the disadvantages and/or concerns I have about fulfilling this request?
* What are the advantages?
* What are the rules that I will put into place to insure that this responsibility is handled appropriately?
* Is my child mature enough for this?

Remember, as stated earlier, providing a child with a key is a privilege -- a child must earn it by demonstrating a high level of maturity and responsibility in their general behavior. The child must also recognize and acknowledge the appropriate behavior expected as a result of this new responsibility, and he must be willing to follow the new rules that a parent creates to assist his safely handling this new challenge.

All of this said, 9-years-old is not an utterly unreasonable time to give the "right" child a key to the house. Again, there are many latch key children given this task at even earlier ages. With the right 9-year-old and under good, well-supervised situations bestowing a child with this responsibility can lead to enhanced feelings of good self esteem and feelings of accomplishment and pride, and in turn may lead to more demonstrations of maturity and personal growth.

*Expert therapist, Kate-Cohen Posey.